I’d never considered myself as a good looking guy until I came to China – not to say that Chinese people are ugly, before you jump to that conclusion…hear me out! To be fair, I think I have twisted this tale in my favour, perhaps to conceal some insecurity, but in any case it goes like this:

Anyone who has lived in China (or any other mono-cultural country in which you are the minority) knows what it is like to be stared at. It happens walking down the street, in a supermarket, when you walk into a restaurant – all of a sudden the world stands still to look at you. Sometimes it’s more subtle; like a kid on the bus who keeps glancing in your direction when he thinks you aren’t looking, other times it’s not so subtle and you will unexpectedly find yourself surrounded by a group of fifty while sitting eating a sandwich on a park bench. On good days it makes you feel like a celebrity, perhaps it will even go to your head and you will feel upset – maybe even angry - when the odd few who walk around with their head in the clouds fail to notice you. On bad days it can make you feel like the bearded lady at a freak-show, and on other days you don’t even notice it at all. It all depends on your mood and how aware you are of it.

But on one occasion it made me feel great:

I was walking home from the Jishuitan subway station as I do everyday and approached a construction site where the migrant workers were bricking and cementing, smoking and eating. In front of me were three beautiful, young business women who had just got off work; their hair was curled; their skirts revealing and they laughed and playfully hit each other on the shoulders as they joked about their male colleagues. I expected a bombardment of hoots and whistles but instead was confronted with a deep silence. I looked to my right and all the workers had stopped to stare. At first I thought they were looking at the girls until I heard one guy say the magic word: ‘Laowai’ (or ‘foreigner’) and then I knew that it was I who had their attention. Now, although regrettably I was being stared at by a large group of male migrant workers (which isn’t usually the group I’m aiming for), nevertheless I, with my scruffy beard, spaghetti arms and pot belly managed to get more stares than 3 attractive, leggy females. I must be awesome.

Doug 1 – Attractive, leggy business girls 0

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